Diagnosed with multiple myeloma In the fall of 1994 it has taken all of 14 years to understand that you never completely fit this intruder into your life. With no known cure, it can not be compartmentalized, back burnered or set aside. It will just not tolerate anything but your absolute attention. Like a lover scorned she will not ever be dismissed and is oh so vengeful. So how do you reconcile this with a wife and child? How do you keep this intruder from encroaching into every aspect of there lives? Can you maintain a normal functioning and loving household with a menacing 600lb gorilla sprawled on the couch? I don't Know. What I do know is when to stay off the couch. Avoid putting yourself in a vulnerable position. I've found that by concentrating on the emotional, physical and spiritual well being of my wife LeeAnne and daughter Dakota, my overall state of being improves as well.
There are so many ups and downs, so much contradictory information, it is often more prudent to limit the information you give to your family. This is not an easy thing . Especially difficult when in reality your life is spinning out of control, again. It sometimes feels as though you are staggering through an amusement park trying one dizzying ride after another. Your left nauseous and disoriented. There is no need to drag your family through all the madness. It's amazing what doctors know. But it's even more amazing what they don't know. Buy taking everything they say as gospel, you limit your options and sometimes lead your family down a merry path of hope or despair.
There have been several instances where a doctor has told me to bring in my family to discuss my immediate demise. The problem with this is the doctor is basing this assumption on his broad experience and the accumulated data at hand. Well, he has never experienced me before. Many doctors discount anything outside the narrow parameters of their significant training. A patients state of mind, positive attitude, willingness to persevere etc., are quite important. Being ever diligent in the pursuit of alternative therapies must remain a constant.
So what of that gorilla that is now occupying my favorite chair? Let him have it. Accept him as part of the family. There really is nothing you can do about him anyway. Your family's happiness should be the one thing that keeps you intact. Somehow knowing my girls are content and whole gives me all the ammunition I need to face the daily grind of life with Multiple Myeloma.
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